When I am weak, then I am strong

Stories of God's Perfect Provision and Answers to Prayer

"The LORD is my Shepherd, I lack nothing ..." (Psalm 23: 1)

"Give us this day our daily bread ..." (Matthew 6:11)

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" (Matthew 6:26)

These Bible verses are familiar to many of us. They strengthen our faith when we need something or when worries threaten to overcome us. Even so, it doesn‘t come naturally to any follower of Jesus to overcome their fears and anxieties and to place control of one‘s life, finances, relationships, profession, family, health or whatevere else in the hands of another person, namely our loving Father. With the mind we may well understand that we are infinitely precious to Him, worth much more than the birds, whom He also feeds, and that He has both the means and the good will to provide us with everything we need in our spirit, soul and body beyond measure.

But at the same time our loving Father also needs to allow this knowledge of his goodness to be regularly tested so that it is upgraded into real faith, since we naturally prefer to stay in control ourselves and clutch at what we have. This is tragic - because this way God cannot fill our hands, nor do his great plans for us materialize; hence we are shaken by the storms of life and the attacks of the enemy and fall down. It is far better for us to admit straight away that we are like weak sheep who need a shepherd to lead, protect and care for them.

Some time before we set out for Croatia in the summer of 2020, the Lord clearly showed us that we should go without a mission society and without a prearranged group of supporters and monthly income. If we had donors in your (former) home country, we would want to report on how their money is used and how it brings fruit. What if the supporters have other ideas than God about what our tasks should be? The felt pressure to give people an account alone is enough to affect our ability to pay attention to God's guidance and to wait on Him. So we left without an organization. At the same time, He showed us clearly that we didn't even know yet what exactly we were to do in Croatia. Apparently, he expected us to move and trust Him to guide us step by step.

This kind of "walking by faith" is nothing new. Georg Mueller built five large orphanages in Bristol during the Victorian era, when orphaned children were often put into terrible work houses. In „Ashley Down“ up to 2,000 children received loving care, Christian upbringing and a solid professional training – and Mueller received all the resources as an answer to prayer without ever asking someone for as much as a penny. Other men and women of God have had the same experience that God never forsakes His children and always answers prayer by faith. (We very much recommend both the biography about Georg Müller and, for example, the testimony of Paul Washer on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8OR61p-gbU)

The apostle Paul writes:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

This vers comes as two commands - do not worry and bring your requests to God! It is not forbidden to tell people about them, but first of all we are told to address them TO THE FATHER. The reason is very clear, as Georg Mueller often put it: If we ask HIM, and He answers, everyone who hears about experiences in a tangible way that He is alive, that He answers prayer and that He is totally trustworthy (for eternal salvation as well as everyday concerns). If we ask people, they also get part of the credit. If we only ask the Father, He will be honored and the faith of others strengthened. That is also our prayer for all of you who read this blog entry!

For these reasons we saw ourselves led to practice the same principle, which we have adhered to until today, by God's grace: We aim to always bring our financial needs before God in absolute trust and never ask other people for donations - unless He clearly tells us to. On paper, this principle may appear to some as a kind of prideful self-sufficiency, but for us this was a very important decision long BEFORE the tests of faith started, so that we could stand fimr during the test and experience God's goodness at all! Whatever pride there may have been in it, I believe it was later purified through the crisis.

We had known for a year or two that the summer of 2020, before Junia's school enrollment, was the right time to leave Germany. On March 20th, 2020, we gave notice at our jobs and for our rental agreement. That same day the first corona lock-down was determined and the schools were closed for over six weeks. My work as a school chaplain had completely changed overnight. But God was setting us free to move to Croatia, as He had put on our hearts over 10 years earlier. On June 13th, we were sent off into the new adventure under prayer and prophecy during a wonderful, unforgettable farewell celebration. On July 3rd we left our hometown of the past four years and, after two weeks of visiting family and friends, we reached Zagreb on July 21st.

Where to turn now? As we took some time to listen to God's guidance, we realized that we could not stay on our own, but that somewhere in Croatia God had prepared a place for us in a house church. Looking for this place, we came to the Karlovac area on August 21st. The following evening we attended a meeting of our new house church for the first time, in a village outside of Karlovac. A warm welcome awaited us there, lots of encouraging testimonies, a vivid spiritual life, the exercise of the spiritual gifts and a deep desire to make people followers of Jesus. Within a couple of hours we knew that we had arrived. The Lord had brought us to the right place quickly!

Precisly at right time, too. We started looking for an apartment, which took us a couple of weeks. In the meantime, the Lord gave us a place in school for Junia, since on September 7th she had her first day of school. It was exactly the right class, with a committed young teacher in a sheltered little school only about 1 kilometer away from our future apartment, which we weren‘t even able to visit before the last Friday before starting school.

 

In the meantime, we needed new quarters. The beautiful campsite on the Mrežnica river, where we had camped for 10 days, was not exactly the cheapest and, in addition, a cold-wet weather front was moving in. We had been sent out with generous gifts by church, friends and family in addition to the refund of our New Zealand plane tickets and a payout for Luna's leftover vacation days that we had received. But we did not yet know how high rent and utilities would be here, what the transport of our furniture would cost and how exactly God would continue to provide for us. Therefore we were very grateful to be able to stay with the couple, where the house church always met on Saturdays. They welcomed us warmly, but at first it was not clear how it would work with their two dogs that had been rescued from the animal shelter, whom they had not had for a long time and who out of fear persistently barked at every stranger in sight. When Bruno and Tanja were at work in the morning, we hurried past their separate area at their staircase with the children on our arms. Over time, they got used to us a little. :-)

The Lord took care of the transport of our furniture by freeing up two brothers from the house church (Kristijan and Juraj) to drive with me to Germany for three days: one day each for driving one way and one day for clearing out the attic room we had rented in our old house and stacking everything into the rental Iveco van, in which everything, including the bikes, fitted even better than I had dared to hope. We even enjoyed some nice fellowship with helpers, friends and Luna‘s mother in Doberlug-Kirchhain and my sisters and Kristijan's brother in Hartenstein and on October 1st, 2020 we arrived at our new apartment in the "New Center" of Karlovac at around 6pm (it once was „new“ back in the 1980s^^). Thanks to the combined strength of our new family, we managed to carry everything up the stairs to the 4th floor within two and a half hours!

All of this already bore God's caring handwriting! Encouraged and full of gratitude, we furnished the apartment, got used to everyday school life, and looked for ways with which we could serve the Lord here and build his kingdom.

At this point began a learning process that was difficult for me personally, through which the Lord tested and strengthened our absolute trust in his goodness and guidance. Although we had the chance to take on a Bible teaching here and there in the church, grow in the healing and deliverance ministry, start praying for the people of this city and for Harry to regularly evangelize and pray for people on the streets together with Kristijan and Juraj, this was not the kind of quick breakthrough and discipleship movement that we had prayed for.

My focus was entirely on "Kingdom work," so I didn't look for a job. Realistically, my Croatian then was not nearly sufficient to communicate with people in the market place anyway. In 1 Corinthians 9:14 it says that "those who preach the gospel should live of the gospel". Only slowly I realized that, at least at this time, God had not planned such extensive service for me that one could speak of a full or even halftime job of „preaching the gospel“. All followers of Jesus take part in the service of intercession, spreading the good news wherever they can and many also take on teaching assignments in the church, all of which is in addition to their professional and family life. I also knew that, despite his very extensive discipleship work, Paul took care of himself and even his companions in many places (cf. Acts 20:34). The basic principle is that we should work something in order to be able to give something (Ephesians 4: 8), because "giving is more blessed than receiving" (Acts 20:35). But it was only much later that I was able to recognize what the Lord then gave me in the summer of 2021 as a promise from Psalm 128:2: “For you shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands, you will be happy and blessed and it will be well with you.” At the same time, Luna and I agree that this time without work and regular income was planned for us by our Father. After all, I kept telling the Lord that I would do any job He gave me without getting an answer to the prayer. We now don't want to miss this experience for any income in the world! In other words, it could have been easier, but the way it went, it was best for us - and by God's grace we hope that our story enourages you as well to always trust God!

In my diary on October 18, I noted that we still had 1200 € in our German bank account, which at a rate of 1:7.5 equals 8000 kuna. Today we know that this lasts us a month and a bit, including paying all the bills. After Junia's birthday in November, our reserves got thinner and thinner. Luna had been thinking for a while to look for a job and so she sent off some applications for home office jobs at the end of the month. On November 24th our funds were nearly used up. One day, the Lord moved my heart to give a well-known beggar, whom I had befriended a little, the 4 kuna he asked me for. On the same day we unexpectedly received a € 400 Corona crisis child bonus from Germany in our German account! This was the first test for us of whether we would continue with the principle of trusting in God's help and adressing our needs to Him alone and already He proved His goodness and faithfulness to us before it was really urgent.

After Luna’s birthday, I got the impression that I should fast 7-10 days “for a breakthrough” in our ministry. In reality, this fast was to be a breakthrough for me personally, adressing my impatience with God's schedule, as well as with myself and my closest loved ones. When I broke the fast December 17th, we had about 20 € left. We hadn't written or packed any Christmas mail or packages, had bought no Christmas dinner and just a few small gifts. I had tied an Advent wreath with spruce branches from the forest and the apartment was beautifully decorated as usual, including the display of our self-build Christmas crib. The children were looking forward to the holidays and, if I remember correctly, one or two of the big parcels from Germany, which we would receive, had already arrived. But Luna and I had to wait and see how we would celebrate this Christmas. This helped us to rethink whether and how we as a family really want to celebrate Christmas far away from centuries-long, or recent capitalist, traditions and what is really important. For example, we replaced the tree with the crib three years ago. This year we moved away from Christmas traditions even more, but that‘s another story.

Besides our empty pockets we were also burdened by the outstanding bills for November: electricity, internet, heating, other ancillary costs and the rent that was due again. Every day we threw our worries on the Lord and praised Him beforehand for His provision - whether we felt like it or not. My diary that day reads: “I'm excited to see what God is doing. He has already answered our prayer. Thank you, Lord, for your supply! I know that it has already been given and that it will arrive at the right time. "

On the fourth Advent, December 20th we decided to go to Zagreb for an early family Christmas dinner. The journey with the car costs around 140kn (almost 20 €), and God took care of that, because Luna had taken her first watercolor Bible verse canvases to the house church the evening before and sold them all for a total of 120kn. The visit was particularly meaningful because from December 21st on lock-down was announced again in Croatia and a visit to Zagreb without a special permit would have been forbidden. In addition, Luna's grandma had had a stroke 6 days earlier. Before that, Luna had felt the strong urge to pray for her grandmother and we believe that this is why the consquences of the attack were very mild, actually a miracle in itself! Despite 90% clogging of the arteries on the left and 70% on the right, she came home three days later - and the next day she took off the curtains to wash and then hung them up again. She had a few minor problems with her right hand, but she did not lose any motor or cognitive skills. A victory in prayer in the Lord, Hallelujah! Thus, the time together with her and the rest of the family was very special. As a result, we have grown much closer together.

That morning Luna had told me that she had heard the number 5000 from God twice. That was a great encouragement to us and a sign that his supply would soon break through to us. And really! On December 21st we received € 400 from friends and family, as well as another € 200 child bonus in our account! We danced and praised the Lord for his mercy and loyalty! He is never late and he keeps his promises: These 600 € together with 500 kuna from gift cards for Luna's birthday and for Christmas resulted in a total of 5000 kuna. Praise the Lord for his faithfulness!

But how exactly should we put God's blessings to use? We took a large part to pay outstanding bills, but it wasn't enough for the rent. We gave another part away, which we usually do and that way experience how God likes to pour out even more blessings when we wholeheartily give from what he gives us. (In Proverbs 3: 9-10, for example, it says: "Honor the LORD with your possessions and with the first fruits of all your income, and your barns will fill up with plenty and your wine presses overflow with must."). With the rest we bought what we needed for the holidays and hastily sent a few Christmas letters to Germany (which is another tradition, that we now decided we will not be enslaved by any longer).

I have to say that personally after the pressures of this difficult time, I have not been able to really „enjoy Christmas“. On the one hand, I was exhausted because on December 22nd and 23rd I quickly wanted to finish our digital Christmas letter while Luna was painting more Bible verse canvases. On the other hand, on December 25th we had a rather sobering experience at a Christmas dinner with friends of our house community. Then I reacted and to my exhaustion by trying to enjoy the many sweets from the Christmas packages and playing and relaxing with the family in a mental way. But I couldn't see that at the time. Today I would know better (at least I hope) that I can live in spiritual authority and joy, no matter what I have or not have, or what happens around me, and then bodily or soulish joys are not made to fulfill me.

In any case, on December 29th we had only 15 kuna in the wallet. We had enough food at home for now and had only just seen God's provision so that we were sure he would send more in time. In the meantime, Luna got sick with Corona and was very weak for 3 days. After that, both she and I lacked our senses of taste and/or smell. In addition, on December 28th and 29th, only 1 hour away, the two earthquakes of 5.2 and 6.3 shook us as well as half of Croatia, which brought the Corona lock-down to an end, but created a mood of fear and uncertainty that we had to fight spiritually.

In the first days of January I thought I heard that God would fulfill our needs on Monday, 4.1.. Instead, on that day, our German account had dropped to € -190 because the car insurance had been withdrawn. "Thank you Lord for this test of faith.", I wrote in my journal. As a sign of God‘s goodness we were given a large 400g Milka bar out of nowhere while on a walk with the children and yet another Christmas parcel also arrived. On Wednesday, the insurance amount was credited back to our account, because some time ago we had cancelled the possibility to overdraw our bank accounts and cards in order, as far as it was up to us, not to get into debt. The way it worked out that time, it gave us another € 30 available to buy groceries. But the December bills would soon be in the mailbox, the rent was now due for two months and of course we still owed the insurance company their premium. Our faith was further tested and our mood was gloomy at times.

At all this time, nobody around us knew anything about our needs. I am sure that our house church as well as our family in Croatia and family and friends in Germany would have helped out immediately, if we had even hinted at something. But we knew that it was time to hold out, trust the Lord and not say anything - neither about how He had provided for us up to now, nor about how we were currently doing financially. After all, we were and are convinced that He is alive and knows what we need even before we ask Him (Matthew 6: 8). If He wants to give us something through others, He can put it on their hearts. Why should we allow ourselves to be tempted and take care of ourselves by our own strength, while confessing that He is our good Shepherd and we lack nothing?

Diary entry on Sunday January 10th: “Intensive prayer this morning with Luna. Shall we look for work? The only clear answer: Immerse yourself in prayer!” On the same day we received a request from a friend to visit him and a young family with whom he was staying approx. 1 hour drive away, on Friday, January 15th. We laid it before the Lord, the doors opened for a visit, but we had hardly any petrol left in the tank.

January 11th: “Great, strong prayer time with Luna; we took communion together. Then she received a phone call: tomorrow Luna will have a job interview." The call was a reply to one of the applications Luna had sent off at the end of November, in this case to the Croatian company Qexperience, which handles customer care services for Western European companies, e.g. in German, English and other languages. Even when writing the application, Luna had a good feeling and now we both felt God's peace in the matter. The interview went very well and on Friday Luna received the final confirmation: From January 20th. she would work from home Monday to Friday for 8 hours with alternating early and late shifts on behalf of a German financial services provider, together with half a dozen Croatians who all speak German perfectly, plus a German lady who had moved here. Praise the Lord who always opens the doors for us at the right time and guides us in his ways!

But we didn't know exactly when Luna would get her wages, nor how we should cover all expenses with just one Croatian salary, even though Luna's income right from the start was a bit above the Croatian average. The wage level here is soberingly low and many employers are heavily exploited. On January 12th, our landlady asked about the 2-3 months' rent, which were due. God gave us favor with her and she gave us extra time to pay. In the diary I noted that we had only € 8 left, and many unpaid bills besides that. "Thank you that we have enough to eat today and tomorrow." I began to fill out the German tax return forms for 2020. Since we had only had half a year of income, I counted on the reimbursement of the entire income tax we had paid, which I thought would amount to around € 1,300.

On January 13th, in prayer, I got a vision of a water dam and a huge lake, so big that you couldn't see the banks to the left and right and on the horizon. A small river gushed steadily from below the dam. I asked the Lord for the interpretation and He showed me that the lake is an image of His abundance, which flows towards us. We don't need to build reservoirs out of mud and stones in our little river, but need to let flow what He gives us.

I have to explain that we had received money for the children again and again since the summer before. We had bought some things for them with one part, but they kept most of it in a small money box. Until now we hadn't allowed ourselves to think that we should take any of this for our daily needs; after all it had been given to us for the children (although we were of course constantly spending money on the needs of the children out of our regular budget). During this week the Lord slowly showed me that this money box, which had also become especially important to Junia (because she wanted to save for a pony), had become a small dam made of mud, which did not correspond to faith in God. We ourselves lived from day to day, trusting our good Father. Why did I want to teach my children something else? (That is not to say that saving money is wrong, of course not, it is often necessary and wise. However, in this situation the Lord showed us that it was disbelief to hold on to it.)

I started talking to Junia about these savings and explaining to her that we wanted to rely on the Lord for all of our needs and desires. On Friday she was ready to let go of part of it and with that we fueled the car, visited this one family (see above) and witnessed to them about Jesus. The following Monday, Junia gave all her savings into God's hands (so did Amos) and we decided to go grocery shopping and replenish supplies. On the same day God sent us € 80 through a Croatian friend and another € 300 came from Germany in the next few days. Most Croatian bills still remained open, but we had enough to eat and our apartment was warm. Again, our Father had given us what we need in his good time. Praise the Lord, for He is good and His grace endures forever!

On Sunday, February 7th, there were only 100 kuna left and our car was thirsty again. (Most of the time we didn't have to drive much, only Saturday to church in the village and otherwise Junia to school in the morning. When the weather was nice, Amos and I picked her up on foot.) Moreover, the bills and rent payments were burdening us. On Wednesday I took Junia to play with friends and tn spend a few hours walking in the woods by myself. I wrestled with the Lord and the retreated to gratitude. I loudly praised him for his kindness and faithful care. That very afternoon we received Luna's salary for the first 10 days in January, almost 2200 kuna, with which we were able to settle 2 bills and buy what else we needed.

However, the later part of my walk in the forest was even more significant to me. It had rained a lot and the forest was wet. At one place I sank into mud with my hiking boots up to my ankles. I had chosen a somewhat longer route, which was as of yet unknown to me. The last stretch, which was supposed to lead back to the road, was no longer there, because the forest there had been cleared and there were trees laying on the ground all over the place. It was getting dark and started to rain. Whether I wanted to or not, I had to go back and take an even longer detour along unknown streets. According to my estimation, I would not be able to pick up Junia until half to one hour later than agreed; lacking cash, I had not topped up my cell phone credit so that I could not even call anyone. The rain picked up again. I was hoping to hitchhike to get to my car more quickly, but no one stopped. Inwardly, I somehow knew that my Father was causing all the cars to pass me. I asked him why and heard him answer (inwardly): "Go in this strength of yours." (Judges 6:14)

Actually, I knew straight away that the word referred to our finances, but I couldn't believe it at the time. How should we settle the outstanding bills with our small income and still have enough to live on, without God sending us money from somewhere else? But the voice had been very clear; I hadn't imagined that. I started to alternately jog and walk down the street and in fact I was moving forward quickly and was just 10 minutes late when I picked up Junia! This experience for me encompasses the entire period of the faith tests and serves as confirmation not to look to human help (hitchhikers), but only to the Lord.

It was now mid-February and we had no income to expect before Luna's first full salary on March 10th. Luna got the impulse to fast for a week and on February 24th she had the impression we should ask the tax office in Germany whether our tax return, which I had sent in January, had arrived. This impression came from the Lord, because when I called they had received nothing (which they had only been able to say with certainty since February 17th). So we put all the papers together for a second time and this time sent it off by registered mail.

Meanwhile, there came € 200 from Germany, which we gratefully accepted and divided between car insurance, donations and food.

During this time after her fast, Luna had an experience in which she was confronted in a vision with a demon of poverty and lack. He met her in our kitchen and looked as ghastly as Golom from "Lord of the Rings", thin as money and with huge beggar eyes full of self-pity. She drove out this demon and then also any bad handling of money, which she repented for. Sometimes it takes dry periods and crises before we can admit to ourselves the bad habits and even unclean spirits from which the Lord wants to free us!

On February 28, through the impulse of some sermons, I decided to proclaim an faith-encouraging Bible verse at every meal (if you are interested in this exercise, I chose: Ps 103: 1-5; Ps 107: 20; Isa 40:31; Isa 43,1-3; Isa 53,4-5; Isa 60,22; Mk 9,23; Mk 11,22-24; Joh 14,12-14; Joh 15,4-5; Joh 19.30; Rom 8,31-32; 2 Cor 1,20; Eph 1,3; Epf 3,20-21; Heb 11,1; 2 Pet 1,3; 1 John 5,14-15). This greatly helped me to stay focussed on the Lord and His goodness and expect all things from Him.

Shortly before Luna's first full salary we as a house church wanted to go to Zagreb to celebrate the completion of a 6 month long Bible school in which two of our sisters had participated. We wanted to come too, but had hardly any gasoline or money left. But the evening before, Luna got 100 kuna for two of her pictures! In Zagreb we also visited Luna's family, who gave us another 100 kuna to “buy ice cream”. In fact, the following week, in the middle of winter, I and the kids went and bought ice cream. It is really true that we have never lacked anything - the Lord is a faithful shepherd!

But in addition to the financial difficulties, I was also repeatedly dissatisfied with our „vocational“ situation. I had already accepted that I should now mainly take care of the children and the daily chores at home, but I also wanted to make disciples and see how a discipleship movement emerges! In December God spoke to me about patience, and I had to keep practicing that lesson. At the same time, in His grace, He regularly encouraged me through Bible verses that I realized were meant directly for me and through impressions and prophetic images, sometimes directly to me, sometimes also through my wife or a sister in the church.

These were always encouragements to trust, for example: “I am preparing your way; go this way! Do not look for any shortcuts, they are just exhausting dead ends! Remain in me and in my rest and let the fruit be my concern!" Luna once had this word for me: "You are the backbone of the family. What you are giving the children and Luna right now in time and attention will bring much fruit in the kingdom. It is precious and priceless."

As a congregation, we had decided to visit some poor families around Easter and bring some gifts. We had gotten the contacts through the social welfare office. So on March 18th and 24th, together with another brother, we went to visit two poor families who live off the very skimmy Croatian welfare program out in the countryside. We brought them large bags with groceries that were paid for out of our church purse, shared the gospel with them, sang a few songs, and prayed for them. It was a strange feeling to have little food at home, but to be considered "rich" by these people. But in fact it is like that: Our father is the richest person in the world! But it is also sobering in retrospect to see how the daily concern for survival keeps these families from caring for eternity and seaking from God the eternal life he freely offers, as it became clear during further visits that these poor people were really only ready to receive our worldly goods. They did not (yet) want to humble themselves before God and seek his grace. Since, as a church family, we had determined that our task is not to provide for all the poor we encounter, but above all to spread the gospel and to stay with those who would like to follow Jesus, we have stopped these visits for the time being until the Lord will guide us there again.

On the night of March 21st Luna had a dream in which she heard: "All our bills have been paid!" I noted: "I am expecting supplies in the next few days in faith and that we can visit Luna's family in Zagreb at Easter in a week." Luna then accepted her grandmother‘s invitation in faith, without knowing whether we would even have the gas money. On Tuesday, March 30th, I used our last Skype credit to ask the tax office whether our tax return papers had arrived this time. Yes, they were there and due to be processed around the end of April. End of April! Could our bills and rent payments remain unpaid for that long?! I noted: “God wants to glorify himself differently! We give thanks and praise you for it, Jesus! Thank you for doing the impossible and working on us as you please!” I resolved to fast again until His supply broke through, although I had had increased problems with muscle cramps in my legs the last several months. “Immediately after the decision to fast, I feel inner calm and focus on HIM, no matter what is happening around me. Before that, my focus was heavily on the expected supply. "

Diary entry on Wednesday, March 31st: “!!! RELIEF !!! The tax office transferred over € 1600 today, even though they said on the phone yesterday that it would be the end of April! They paid back more income tax than I even knew we had been deducted! Thank you, Lord, for this great grace; thank you for first giving us faith and then giving us according to this faith! Thank you for your grace!"

That was a real breakthrough! After four months we were again able to settle all our bills and outstanding rent payments and still had enough to live on. We felt as light as cotton wool - our father had demonstrated his loyalty to us in a wonderful way. Over and over again during this time he had encouraged us through Bible verses, personal words, testimonies and songs. THAT is JEHOVAH JIREH - the God who provides!!! This name of God appears in Genesis 22 - when God told Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac, but then provided a ram as sacrifice instead of the boy. We often want to take shortcuts that will make our way easier, but at the same time still want to be heroes and strong in faith. That doesn't work; faith doesn‘t come without sacrifice. You cannot reach the mountain top without having first climbed a strenuous, steep hiking trail. Well, you can: with a helicopter. But it is precisely such abbreviations that then lengthen our actual growth process (You don‘t grow muscles sitting in a helicopter). Just as muscles are trained, we must face challenges that will train our faith and trust in God!

The following song strongly touched me (Luna) shortly before the breakthrough, encouraged me and I started singing it as a proclamation. That was my personal breakthrough with God, because from then on I was full of joy and trust because I now really BELIEVED that God is actually a loving and caring – I no longer just believed that I believed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yjey4J2b5Rs

We still had to be very frugal, although we repeatedly experienced that God provides for everything and that we do not have to desperately hold on to what he entrusts to us. Once, in April, we went to one of the poor families in the village again and brought them some groceries, because they said on the phone that they had nothing left in the house. At the same time we had just under 300 kuna for ourselves, which needed to last us another 3 weeks. But then the Lord again sent us € 100 from Germany!

In late spring we experienced provision during a very special time. Two dear friends from Germany came for a visit from the end of May to the beginning of June. One of them stayed with us together with her children; the other stayed with friends in a small separate apartment nearby. We had very much looked forward to this time in advance, because we knew God wanted to do something special for them and us.

When they arrived we had bought a lot of groceries, but only 60 kuna left in our pockets! In accordance with our principle, we gave no indication of our circumstances. But how do you accommodate guests for 2-3 weeks with less than 10 €? - Nothing is impossible with God!

In fact, our dear guests went shopping for all of us the whole time and had even brought some food with them. We baked plenty of bread from the large delivery of flour that we had ordered a while ago and cooked beans, pasta, potatoes and so on. Nobody had to go hungry - on the contrary - and towards the end we even celebrated Amos' birthday together before they left. It was a wonderful, unforgettable, blessed time of fellowship!

On the last day of their visit I noticed that we still had a € 20 bill in our second wallet, and the same day we had received another € 20 from Germany! God's provision had been there all along while he was continued to train us to daily put our trust in Him.

On Saturday, July 4th, after our church meeting, I wrote in my diary: “When we sang the song 'Dubine' (Oceans) I had to cry and resisted the thought of “yet more“ walking over the deep waters, especially when I started thinking about our finances and the auto insurance (the 3rd quarter payment not yet been paid) ... I wrestled with Him, but then allowed the Lord to lead us through further and deeper faith tests. As long as you hold our hand and help us stay on the water! What a privilege and undeserved dignity to be able to walk supernaturally on water. That wouldn't be possible if we immediately got everything we ask for. "

From the end of July on Luna had two weeks vacation and so we drove for a week to the Croatian house of prayer in Slavonski Brod for personal spiritual renewal. The next week we spent with Luna's grandma and mom at her family cabin vineyard in Zagorje in the countryside. Again, from a human point of view, we didn‘t have enough money available for this time. We carefully put aside what was needed for gasoline and highway toll and divided up the rest as best we could. Later I noticed that I had miscalculated and that we had even less available than we thought. But on the last day at the house of prayer we unexpectedly received a 600kn present. Hence we had enough money even to buy rye flour for the next few months of bread baking (the mill was on the way) and to send the children with grandma to the local pool as we spend a day by ourselves on the Slijeme mountain between Zagreb and Zagorje. When Luna's salary was paid on August 10, we were back in Karlovac.

The following week we spent with Luna's dad in his little house near Rijeka, only 15 minutes away from the Adriatic Sea. Luna took her laptop with her and simply worked from there. Of course we went swimming every day; in temperatures between 33 and 40 °C you could hardly do anything else. After we had already collected several kilo of wild blackberries the week before and turned them into jam, we were now able to pick 1-2kg of ripe figs every day from Grandpa Igor's old fig tree and produce many jars of fig-chocolate-chili jam. The Lord had given us three weeks of wonderful vacation - We really didn't lack anything!

 

I had already started writing job applications before the vacation. Inwardly, I knew that it was time for me to start working at least part-time. The children had gotten used to our new home and everyday school life, they had learned to play very well with each other and also to spend hours „alone“ at home with Luna, while she is working. In addition, my Croatian skills had increased far enough so that I was able to communicate almost completely without needing translation. But what jobs were there for me as a nature guide, adventure educator and former school chaplain in Croatia? The state schools were out of the question - both because of my education and because of my inadequate Croatian vocabulary.

And so began a long job search with an unforeseeable outcome. First, I applied to the four local language schools and a private adult education center as a German and English teacher. I was invited to two interviews and it became clear to me that with an hourly wage of 50kn at one, two or maybe three courses per week, I couldn't increase our earnings in any meaningful way. So I looked into self-employment in Croatia and the possibility of offering language lessons and tutoring for Germans via the Internet. But my efforts in these directions found little resonance. Next, I expanded my "offer" to include cleaning and maintenance work in house and garden (locally, in Karlovac, of course) and was in the process of registering a company and preparing advertising material, when God closed this door for me.

Two more doors opened instead: On the one hand, I heard from friends about a lady who was about to open a forest kindergarten in Karlovac, a concept otherwise completely unknown to Croats. I got in touch with her and found out that we had similar opinions and ideas about childcare and child development. Of course, I share her love for the forest and bring along some skills and knowledge that can be useful for her small enterprise, even if I have no professional educational experience with small children, except with my own children. One saturday, this woman and two friends came to our house church once and thus showed herself to be open spiritually. She actually ended up renting a house on the edge of the forest for the kindergarten in which our house church had already twice held weekend seminars. All of this felt like God's guidance, which He usually confirms multiple times. However, at the moment it was not yet clear when enough children would be registered so that she would be able to hire me. A couple of months later, we talked again and found out that she was looking for a full time worker with qualifications after all, and neither did I want to go for further schooling at the moment, nor do Luna and I both want to work full time.

The same day I talked with the forest lady, I also called a company in Zagreb that hires and equips delieverymen for the food delivery service "Glovo", similar to Doordash in the US and Canada. At the end of the same week, on October 1st, I started working a few hours a day, delivering for Glovo.

I am paid per order and per kilometer driven. Sometimes there is more and sometimes less to do, but overall speaking the earnings aren‘t bad and God has blessed us very much through this job during the last 4 months. The biggest advantage for us is that I freely choose which hours I want to work, so that I can still bring Junia to school, pick her up, be at our community meetings or other opportunities to serve and that still we don‘t need outside child care, but can give our children the attention and time that is good for them, and for us.

Then I went through another experience relating to work. In the first week of November I called an “OPG” (family farm business) that ran three fruit and vegetable stalls in Karlovac. I had seen their poster saying: “Driver wanted”. The same day in the evening I met the boss and we agreed that I should drive mandarin boxes and other goods to the stands early in the morning and collect them again in the evening. In addition, sometimes I would be needed during the day. The initially agreed daily wage of 150kn seemed fair to me for three hours work, according to Croatian conditions and so I wanted give it try, especially since I couldn't drive for Glovo in the morning and there had no guranteed deliveries.

However, within a few days it turned out that the company was quite a mess and my supervisor expected me to be available almost all the time. Three hours really meant four hours of strenuous work, if everything went smooth, and in addition I was on duty for 2-3 hours every day that week. There was also the stress of a chaotic job in a negative atmosphere without appreciation. At home I wasn't of much use and the children missed me. That Thursday at lunchtime I was very exhausted and angry that I carelessly cut bread and cut off a piece of my left index finger. It was a very exhausting and unpleasant week! (Yet God gave me the grace to care for the wound well and within as little as 3 weeks I was able to play the ukulele again!)

How could this happen? Of course, I had prayed before calling the boss and also before we decided for the job, and I had not heard any warning from the Spirit. I believe that, on the one hand, I was too quickly willing to do more work, at the expense of my health, our family, and my capacity for other Kingdom work. I liked working in a local OPG better than carrying a bag of fast food from McDonalds 200 meters further to a sleepy young man, which I often do at Glovo. In addition, our car had just broken done, needed to be repaired and I assumed too quickly that the Lord would provide us with additional money through this work. In fact, I didn't earn anything this week that I wouldn‘t have earned already driving delieveries. On the other hand, God allowed me to take the job because He wanted me to experience first hand what the working conditions are like for many people here, and because He continues to cleanse me from fleshly worry, hurry and strive.

Once again, together with the challenge, God prepared a way out. On Friday I called the boss and told him he'd better look for another driver. I gave him my reasons, also said that I would like to have an hourly wage from now on for additional work and assured him that I would continue to drive for a few more weeks until he had found someone else. A little later I got into a fight of words with my supervisor, in which I frankly told her that I wasn't available for her all day and wasn‘t dependent on this job either. Half an hour later the boss called me and told me in a friendly manner that I would no longer work for him. Even the truck delivery, which I was supposed to receive late that night, was handled by someone else. Wonderful, I thought to myself, praise the Lord, he has set me free! I came home that evening shaken and disillusioned, but above all grateful. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you!" (1 Peter 5: 7)

The car - I still owe you this story. After four weeks of Glovo deliveries, I stopped dead in the parking lot in front of McDonalds one Saturday afternoon. Something with the cluch wasn‘t working. I was able to shift into gears, but not to let the clutch come off. Since it was Saturday, I rolled it back into the parking space and headed home. Monday was a public holiday, so the tow truck was not ordered until Tuesday (which was covered by our car insurance). The same day the garage called with estimated repair costs of around € 450, plus the same amount to do the necessary routine work at the same time. After all, our faithful Renault hadn't been in for service for a year and a half.

In this I immediately saw the hand of God! All the while, when we hardly have a kuna left, the car drove and drove without any problem. I believe God sent his angels to hold it together until I could start earning some extra money and we could pay for the repair. I wasn't really surprised when the car stopped working, but immediately had peace. - Thank God, because the worst part of a problem is not the difficulty itself, but the uncertainty, fear and temptation that they cause in us. We will always have problems, in different ways, but that doesn‘t need to bother us much, since each problem is an opportunity for God to glorify himself!

And how well God glorifies himself! On the same day I discovered on our German bank account that friends had transferred to us € 377! Already at the beginning of September we were given € 500, just in time to pay our car insurance premiums from the third quarter before we had to bear the consequences of the late payment. Well, at the beginning of November, the Lord kindly provided us with enough money to have the car repaired and completely servised. On Thursday, after bandaging my cut and bleeding finger, I was able to pick up the car. It was not the clutch, as feared, but the semi-axis that was defective, so that the repair turned out to be significantly cheaper than expected! "Your Heavenly Father knows what you need even before you ask him." (Matthew 6: 8)

Another positive effect of the car repair was that I started to ride my bike when delivering for Glovo. I wanted to try that out anyway, but had expected that I would not manage the same number of deliveries and also get less payment per delivery. But that was not the case and often I can even get to the customer and back faster by bike than by car, so that now I nearly always ride my bike, except when the children want to go with me or when I have to go up a steep mountain but are able to switch to the car before. So, I guess you could say now that I'm getting paid to work out.

Consequently, our everyday life is now such that Luna works from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., Junia is at school either in the morning from 8 a.m. or in the afternoon from 2 p.m., and that I work for about 4 hours somewhere between 10 a.m. and usually no later than 4 p.m. or 7 p.m.. Wednesday evening from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. we meet for fellowship, Bible study and prayer; Saturday evening from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. or longer for fellowship, word, prayer, as well as praise and worship, which is really the highlight of our week. On Thursdays, Harry used to go to evangelize and pray for people in the city with two brothers, but since another one of these now works a strenous job, they have stopped that minstry for now. Thursday evenings we meet a dear sister via video call for discipleship training. On Sundays we usually spend time together as a family. Every now and then Luna and I bring the children to friends for a few hours so we can spend some time together. When we think about where God has put us here and how He has already changed and used us during this time, we can only gratefully marvel at his grace and wisdom.

Perhaps while reading this, one may think that we are poorly off. Oh no, we are not and never have been, neither we adults nor our children. The little ones have developed wonderfully through God's grace over the past year and are a great joy to us (most of the time^^). How often have they been delighted about a small piece of candy for dessert when there was nothing else sweet in the house – while most of the time there was a piece of chocolate, cake or the like to snack on. Even better: How often have they thoroughly enjoyed a delicious apple or mandarine as a snack! One of them also rejoices about spinach and coleslaw, the other at least about paprika, cucumber and tomato, just to give some examples. They have always had more than enough things to wear and shoes or sandals on their feet – and didn‘t care much whether they were new or used. They understand that you can make a lot of things yourself - whether it's bread, jam, cookies, popcorn, or handicrafts and gifts. They look forward to events like a bike trip to the playground and are constantly thinking of new things to play, dress up or build. They accept it when we say ‚no‘. Of course, they also quarrel, they are sometimes bored or disobedient, but that is not the norm. We are grateful that in this upside-down and twisted world in which we live, they have already started to receive and live out some of God's principles and, above all, God's love!

Our gracious and rich Father fully provides us with more than the material blessings we need. But what is even more important is that He educates us and strengthens our faith in Him. “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of its own.” (Matthew 6:34) We all know this verse, but how can we know, in a situation of scarcity, whether God will really give us what we are going to need tomorrow, if we have not already experienced it? We were also able to learn how unimportant it actually is what and how much you have to eat, because you can turn the simplest things into a delicious, healthy and filling meal. It is also not important whether you can buy new things or not, and whether you can go to the cinema or anywhere else (which given the ongoing Corona measures is a limited affair anyway).

There were times in my life when I couldn't sing along when I heard songs with lines like “All I need is just you!”, because I wasn't sure that I really meant them. Yet Psalm 27:4 says:

"One thing I ask from the Lord,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple."

Today I know that I really only need one thing: The presence of my Beloved Lord and Savior in my life and in that of my family. Even if this belief of mine should be tested again tomorrow, today I‘m sure of it! There are many beautiful and goods blessings for soul and body, but they can never fulfill me. Yet HE fulfills my spirit, as well as soulish and physical needs, better than I can ask or understand, if only I seek Him with all my heart!

Dear friend, who has managed to read so far, do you know this Lord? Have you turned around from your own path, leading you far away from your Creator? Has the Father forgiven you for your sins yet? Has the ‚old you‘ already died with Jesus and was a new person raised with Him? Have you already been filled with God's good Spirit? And when you have experienced all of this, have you then convinced yourself that your Father is nothing but good, that you are His treasured possession and that He perfectly cares for you, no matter how big the problems you face? Do you first of all seek Him and His glory or your own "kingdom", life, family, career, in short, are your own plans more important? Are you ready to let go of everything and trust Him completely, every day anew? Are you an active follower of Jesus?

From our experience I can only encourage you to throw everything onto him and to follow him, especially in the strange times in which we live. Jesus doesn‘t exist somewhere out there in the universe, rather He has been given all power in heaven and on our earth, which includes over your country and your city (or village). He is bigger than Corona, than the measures, as pressure at work or in the family. He understands your deepest fears, injuries, illnesses, pains, addictions and your deep restlessness - He conquered them all when He died for you on the cross and said: "It is finished!"

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?"(Romans 8: 31-32)

If you live by faith in Jesus and are filled with his Spirit, then you not only have the certainty that after this life you will be resurrected and reign with Him in glory, but already in this time He can and wants to work miracles through you; He wants to transform you and then others through you forever. You don't have to have especially strong faith, attend a Bible school or live a perfect life. His righteousness is your protection and your faith only needs to be the size of a seed. In fact, it is our weakness that drives us to Him and makes us grow spiritually. We testify to you that we experienced and continue to experience many moments of weakness, and we have learned to proclaim with Paul (whether we feel like it or not):

“The Lord says: 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.‘ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)

In the name of Jesus we bless you with the peace of God, we hug you and look forward to seeing you again if and when our loving Father wants!

Lots of love,

from Harry, Luna, Junia and Amos

--

Lyrics of "Jehovah Jireh“ by Jekalyn Carr:

God, I feel You now preparing me for my next move
My faith is being tested but I know You will, You will come through
Just like You did for Abraham
God I need You to show me a sign
So today I challenge heaven 'cause I feel in the spirit it's manifestation time

So here I am Jesus
All I have is your word show yourself to be God
I know You won't let me down

I won't stop believing
Jehovah Jireh
I promise I won't, I won't stop believing
I've got to release it for somebody else

God I feel you now preparing me for my next move
My faith is being tested, oh Lord, but I know You will
You shall, You, You've got to come through
Just like You did for Abraham
Lord I need You to show me a sign
So today I challenge heaven 'cause I feel in the spirit it's manifestation time

So here I am Jesus
All I have is Your word

Show Yourself to be God
I know You won't let me down, yeah

Somebody wave your hand and say I won't stop
You ought to lift your voice and shout
I promise I won't, I won't stop believing
'Cause I've seen You do it over and over again
Oh yeah, Oh Lord, I won't stop believing
You can not fail me Jehovah Jireh
I won't stop believing

Yeah, I came to tell you that this is what I believe
I believe that the same God who raised Lazarus from the dead
That the same God who cause Jehoshaphat and his army to triumph
I believe (the same) that the same God who delivered the three Hebrew boys
Is the same God who can excel me, expand me, accelerate me

Jehovah Jireh, oh, I won't I won't stop believing
You are the God that can heal, that can save, that can provide
I won't, I won't stop believing

Will He fail me? (Never)
Will He come through for me? (Always)
How long will He show me that He's still God? (Forever)
He watches over His word, watches over His word to perform it
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, He does

I'm reminded of Abraham
When all he had was God's word carrying him
And even when it hurt Him the most
He still had faith in His God to lift his voice and declare

The Lord will provide
The Lord will provide
(I've never seen the righteous forsaken) The Lord
(nor His seed beg for bread He will) will provide
(You ought wave your hand and shout)
THE LORD WILL PROVIDE