Saturday 17 July 2021

One Year Croatia - Harry's Personal Reflection

During the last few months I made our small balcony in front of the kitchen into a tiny garden, which included upcycling a wooden pallet into planting pots (not in the picture), building a raised bed (below). By now, beans are climbing, tomatoes and cucumbers hanging and much more is growing. This project in a way reflects my experience during our first year in Croatia.

Planted, pruned and strengthened

Planted.

"You will go out with joy and be led forth with peace ..."
Our wedding verse, Isaiah 55:12

On July 21, 2020 we travelled from the coolness of Germany into the heat of Croatia. What God had put on our hearts over 10 years ago became reality: He brought us to Luna's homeland to serve Him here. For a few weeks we visited family and friends, seeking His will for the next step and already at the end of August He showed us the place where He wanted to plant us: Karlovac. Within weeks Here we felt at home here because he crafted us into a loving, alive, God-seeking house church family. And where is your home (on this earth)? With your family, of course.

We praise and thank our Lord for his grace and faithful guidance, throughout the years of our life together all the way into this country of our calling. How wonderful it is to know that He will reach our goal with us, even if we sometimes get tired, doubt Him or lose our way (which has certainly been the case several times in the last 11 years!). When we left Germany last July, one of my sisters gave us Phil 1.6:

 "He who has started a good work in you will also finish it until the day of Jesus Christ."

Oh how great is His grace, patience, wisdom and power!

Our move could not have been timed in a more ingenious way. In Germany, the pandemic measures resulted in changes in school, workplace and house church that were hard to accept for us. But we did not have to bear them for long and here the changes do not apply in the same way. The Lord generously provided us with everything we needed to move and start over. In Karlovac the perfect apartment became available for us at exactly the right time, Junia got a place in exactly the right class just one week before school started and our church family was just at the beginning of a growth process that we were now able to share with them for the most part. In all things we see the loving and wise hand of our Lord.

So far so good. At the same time while I was hugely grateful, I also experienced a kind of frustration. I'm learning to be grateful for this as well, because on closer inspection I recognize in it the same gardening hand of my Father.


Pruned.

"Every branch that bears fruit [the father-gardener] prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."
 John 15.2

One day in spring I spent helping to prune Luna's grandma's vineyard, which had grown many new shoots. Only 2 such branches were being left per vine, a longer one with about 6 fruit sets for the grape bunches and a shorter one with 2 or 3 fruit sets. On my balcony, I too have to cut tomatoes and cucumbers here and there. In fact, the plants produce much more fruit this way, and more importantly, they bring more fruit to maturity. How stupid it would be to be sad about the cut shoots when you know that you can look forward to a bigger and more delicious harvest!

The first area of life in which my good Father cut me back concerns my need for community and exchange. He created me with the gift of "encouragement / exhortation" (one and the same word in Greek) from Romans 12: 8.  For the past 2 months, He has been teaching me more about exactly what these seven gifts are.  For example, the exhorter loves socializing and big groups and thus brings light and color into it so that fellowship can grow.  That is how God created me and He used me again and again for this purpose, yet I must not be dependent on friendships with others. Instead, I can learn to find full satisfaction and enjoyment in Him.

"[Only] one thing I ask of the Lord: ... that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple."
Psalm 27:4

Of course, I knew even before we moved that it would take me many months or years to learn Croatian to the point where I could easily follow and participate in a conversation. Nevertheless, the feeling of not understanding what others are saying and - even worse for the exhorter - not being able to express what is important to me, proofed to be a great challenge and pain for me. Even when someone else translated for me, the language barrier has to this day not been completely overcome. Actually, even if two people speak the same language, they could never communicate everything they intended. Not to mention the things that are misunderstood. Communication is complex, but also dynamic and fascinating.

In any case, Father diligently cut back my need to communicate, my community "addiction" and the desire that others should like me with the scissors of the language barrier. As a result, I handed Him my gift of exhortation anew, for Him to cleanse it and for me to bear fruit. Meanwhile, I now succeed in understanding more and more and I can express simple things with some confidence. If necessary, I can translate things in advance (for example a Bible study) or switch to English. In addition to the language barrier, being bound to home and children and the fact that we were not able to travel to the Mueller family reunion in Germany last weekend also served the same purpose in God's growth plan for me.

The second "branch" on me, which my father is pruning, revolves around the principle of "sowing and reaping". People who, like me, have the fourth gift from Romans 12 tend to see great visions and be able to convince others to buy into them. In doing so, we run the risk of underestimating the step-by-step implementation, that is, losing sight of reality.  What you do not sow you cannot reap. For example, I expected more fruit from my balcony garden, without considering that in such a little space and with relatively small pots, the fruit is limited to the resources of space and nutrients.  But "Nema veze", no harm done, once I've gotten over the disappointment, I can only learn from that.

A year before we left Germany, we handed our vision of a Christian community living together and a Bible school in Croatia back to God in order to be completely dependent on his guidance. Even back then, he "cut off" our own ideas, although He may still use them in the future! In exchange, at the beginning of 2020, He gave us the vision of a simple house church movement based on making disciples, who eventually make more disciples, so that more and more new house churches come to maturity. Then in August He led us to just such a house church with exactly the same vision! That's why we knew very quickly that we belonged here.

After we were incorporated into the church here and had become one in the vision, I expected that within months we would see at least one or a few new house churches spring up, and I prayed accordingly. In fact, I still pray for this so-called "discipleship multiplication movement," as we all do, but I need to learn to accept and better understand God's time plan. As the first item on His plan, God tested and strengthened our character when we (as a community) were working on discipleship with a few people who were in reality not willing to leave their old lives behind in order to follow Christ. In addition, there was an attack from outside that I do not want to further go into. We also saw people getting healed but then not willing to turn and move towards Jesus. It was not until the late spring that God allowed us to see growth in some other contacts, for whom we had actually prayed and "sown into" for many months.

Recently we were able to see how the twin brother of one young fellow believer, after months of indecision and relapses into aggressive behaviour/psychological challenges, surrendered his life to Jesus within 2 days, was freed from drug addiction and demonic oppression, was born again and baptized. Since God has started transforming him more and more into the friendly, open-minded, joyous young man He had always envisioned. Another friend was able to experience deliverance from demons, started reading the Bible and a few weeks ago, at our Saturday meeting, her shorter leg grew out to match the other. Before that, she could hardly sit or stand because of her back pain (which was a great burden for her since she works as a retail clerk), but immediately afterwards she half sat half laid on the coach and didn't know what to do with her joy. During the summer season she is working on the coast and enjoys spending time alone with Jesus. When she said goodbye to us, she said with a smirk: "Maybe you will have a new sister when I come back." 😀
Another friend came to us as a (badly hurt) Christian and we are currently allowed to help her through pastoral care and encouragement towards inner healing and deliverance so that she can be firmly rooted in Christ and become a disciple maker herself.

There are some other stories to tell about how God sows seeds and slowly grants growth. I have to get used to the slow part and learn to see the beauty in it. At the same time, I do not want to lose my confidence that our Lord holds all power in heaven and on earth, that He answers prayer and that His word does not come back empty, but do what pleases Him (Isaiah 55:11). I'm learning to go on in faith, to pray and to engage with people in the authority of Christ, even though and precisely because things do not happen as I think they should, but as the Lord of Hosts wrote in His books for each of us before the beginning of the world! What a privilege to be able to discover these stories one by one!

"Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have already received it, and it will be yours."
Mark 11:24

I may add the conditions for this promise from John 14:13 and 1 John 5:14, namely that we ask according to His will and that Jesus and the Father are glorified through its fulfillment. So as we learn to understand better and better what His good and pleasing will is through the renewal of our minds (Romans 12: 2) and how He glorifies himself, we can pray with greater and greater confidence and authority. To this growth in faith I can testify, thanks to the grace of God.

Thirdly, the good gardener also cuts on my own character. At the end of last year, uncertainty about how He would continue to provide for us brought me on my knees and into His arms. As never before I learned that it is really enough for me to have Him, even if many other things are uncertain. Since Luna has started working, I've been tied much more to home and kids. It took me a long time to realize, not only with my head and mouth but also with my heart, that these two little big gifts are our most important and precious two disciples. For several years now, God has repeatedly been forming our child-raising methods. From January onward I spent more time with them than ever before and often felt that my spiritual growth and "my work" in the kingdom of God were thus hindered. But on the contrary: God uses the small big tasks of everyday life to teach me anew to be faithful in the little things and to let the fruit of the Spirit grow in all four of us! This fruit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, kindness, loyalty, gentleness and self-control / obedience (Gal 5:22) and time and again, when one or all of us let our behaviour slip, we stop and proclaim this fruit over our family, confess to and forgive one another and notice how God brings us closer together in the process. I didn't really want to write that, but it just came to me and it definitely applies. 😅

Being faithful in the little things also means working for our own needs, while at the same time preaching the gospel and serving people free of charge. This is how the apostle Paul did it (Acts 20:34; 1 Corinthians 9: 15-19), even though he did not make it the rule. It was only this year that I realized that God is leading us on the same path. Therefore, for a few days now I have urged to apply as a language teacher/tutor (for German and English) at the local language institutes. In my head I am struggling with the strain that will mean on us as a family and the further "lost" time for the work in the kingdom of God, but I know in my spirit that this is just my human logic and that God will be glorified in everything.
 
Last but not least, He is cutting away at my character and strengthening my trust towards Him through complete dependence on Him and many small answers to prayer. I almost suspect that the tests of faith (and the corresponding answers) will not decrease but rather increase.

My other sister send me this fitting story for my birthday. It reads:
"A man entered a store. Behind the counter there stood an angel. The man asked hastily: 'What do you sell here?', and the angel kindly responded: 'Anything you like."
The man began to rattle off: 'In that case I would like the end of war and terror in the world, better living conditions for the disadvantaged and needy, work for the unemployed, more community and love in church and society, kinder people, more trust and understanding between children and adults...'
The angel interrupted him: 'Excuse me, you must have misunderstood me. We don't sell the ripe fruit; but only seeds.'"


Strengthened.

“[Peter saw Jesus walking on the water] and said: "Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.”
"Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
Matthew 14: 28-31

Not long ago the Spirit of God touched me one Saturday evening during the song "Oceans", which also deals with walking on water like Peter did. I realized how tired I was of not having solid ground under my feet. With tears I confessed my weakness to the Lord. He built me ​​up again and showed me anew the beauty, strength and fascination in walking over the "water" in uncertainty and danger (while being completely safe in His strong hand).

Every problem and difficulty in our life is an opportunity for God to glorify Himself! What a privilege to experience His supernatural grace in my inability.

In my mind I can see some outlines of what God is doing in Karlovac. The vision of the discipleship movement that He has given us is already taking shape. But it is not a triumphal procession without serious difficulties. The spiritual battle (behind the scenes of our visible world) between Satan and his dark forces and our King Jesus and His angels is a real battle, even if Jesus has already won over Satan through His death on the cross! Yet the world does not recognize us as victorious warriors, but rather 
 
"As it is written: 'For your sake we are killed all day long; we are respected like sheep for slaughter!' But in all of this we overcome far through the one who loved us. "
Romans 8:36-37

As it turns out, the ending of the post is a rather serious one, which again I hadn't planned. Dear reader, if you do not yet belong to Christ, then take a step towards Him today - because at the end of this time and especially in the next few years you will not be able to remain "neutral", but you will have to decide: Do you want to make Jesus your Lord and follow Him or let Satan and his human rulers lie to you and dominate over you?

If you already belong to Christ, may I ask you if you are ready to suffer with him?

"But if we are children [of God], we are also heirs, namely heirs of God and joint heirs of Christ, if we really suffer with him, so that we may also be glorified with him."
Romans 8:17

The King of the world, Jesus Christ, God's Son, has opened a way for us to be reconciled with the Father and to resurrection and new life through weakness and sacrificial death. We are called to walk the same path through suffering to glory, for in our lives Jesus wants to reveal His power and glory the same way He did in his life on earth. His way is so different from what the world knows - namely, full of love and grace for the least of His followers.

His grace and peace be with you :-)
Harry and your Müllers from Karlovac