Stories of God's Perfect Provision and Answers to Prayer
"The LORD is my Shepherd, I lack nothing ..." (Psalm 23: 1)
"Give us this
day our daily bread ..." (Matthew 6:11)
“Look at the birds
of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet
your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than
they?" (Matthew 6:26)
These Bible verses
are familiar to many of us. They strengthen our faith when we need
something or when worries threaten to overcome us. Even so, it
doesn‘t come naturally to any follower of Jesus to overcome their
fears and anxieties and to place control of one‘s life, finances,
relationships, profession, family, health or whatevere else in the
hands of another person, namely our loving Father. With the mind we
may well understand that we are infinitely precious to Him, worth
much more than the birds, whom He also feeds, and that He has both
the means and the good will to provide us with everything we need in
our spirit, soul and body beyond measure.
But at the same time
our loving Father also needs to allow this knowledge of his goodness
to be regularly tested so that it is upgraded into real faith, since
we naturally prefer to stay in control ourselves and clutch at what
we have. This is tragic - because this way God cannot fill our hands,
nor do his great plans for us materialize; hence we are shaken by the
storms of life and the attacks of the enemy and fall down. It is far
better for us to admit straight away that we are like weak sheep who
need a shepherd to lead, protect and care for them.
Some time before we
set out for Croatia in the summer of 2020, the Lord clearly showed us
that we should go without a mission society and without a prearranged
group of supporters and monthly income. If we had donors in your
(former) home country, we would want to report on how their money is
used and how it brings fruit. What if the supporters have other ideas
than God about what our tasks should be? The felt pressure to give
people an account alone is enough to affect our ability to pay
attention to God's guidance and to wait on Him. So we left without an
organization. At the same time, He showed us clearly that we didn't
even know yet what exactly we were to do in Croatia. Apparently, he
expected us to move and trust Him to guide us step by step.
This kind of
"walking by faith" is nothing new. Georg Mueller built five
large orphanages in Bristol during the Victorian era, when orphaned
children were often put into terrible work houses. In „Ashley Down“
up to 2,000 children received loving care, Christian upbringing and a
solid professional training – and Mueller received all the
resources as an answer to prayer without ever asking someone for as
much as a penny. Other men and women of God have had the same
experience that God never forsakes His children and always answers
prayer by faith. (We very much recommend both the biography about
Georg Müller and, for example, the testimony of Paul Washer on
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8OR61p-gbU)
The apostle Paul
writes:
“Do not be anxious
about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with
thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
This vers comes as
two commands - do not worry and bring your requests to God! It is not
forbidden to tell people about them, but first of all we are told to
address them TO THE FATHER. The reason is very clear, as Georg Mueller
often put it: If we ask HIM, and He answers, everyone who hears about
experiences in a tangible way that He is alive, that He answers
prayer and that He is totally trustworthy (for eternal salvation as
well as everyday concerns). If we ask people, they also get part of
the credit. If we only ask the Father, He will be honored and the
faith of others strengthened. That is also our prayer for all of you
who read this blog entry!
For these reasons we
saw ourselves led to practice the same principle, which we have
adhered to until today, by God's grace: We aim to always bring our
financial needs before God in absolute trust and never ask other
people for donations - unless He clearly tells us to. On paper, this
principle may appear to some as a kind of prideful self-sufficiency,
but for us this was a very important decision long BEFORE the tests
of faith started, so that we could stand fimr during the test and
experience God's goodness at all! Whatever pride there may have been
in it, I believe it was later purified through the crisis.
We had known for a
year or two that the summer of 2020, before Junia's school
enrollment, was the right time to leave Germany. On March 20th, 2020,
we gave notice at our jobs and for our rental agreement. That same
day the first corona lock-down was determined and the schools were
closed for over six weeks. My work as a school chaplain had
completely changed overnight. But God was setting us free to move to
Croatia, as He had put on our hearts over 10 years earlier. On June
13th, we were sent off into the new adventure under prayer and
prophecy during a wonderful, unforgettable farewell celebration. On
July 3rd we left our hometown of the past four years and, after two
weeks of visiting family and friends, we reached Zagreb on July 21st.
Where to turn now?
As we took some time to listen to God's guidance, we realized that we
could not stay on our own, but that somewhere in Croatia God had
prepared a place for us in a house church. Looking for this place, we
came to the Karlovac area on August 21st. The following evening we
attended a meeting of our new house church for the first time, in a
village outside of Karlovac. A warm welcome awaited us there, lots of
encouraging testimonies, a vivid spiritual life, the exercise of the
spiritual gifts and a deep desire to make people followers of Jesus.
Within a couple of hours we knew that we had arrived. The Lord had
brought us to the right place quickly!
Precisly at right
time, too. We started looking for an apartment, which took us a
couple of weeks. In the meantime, the Lord gave us a place in school
for Junia, since on September 7th she had her first day of school. It
was exactly the right class, with a committed young teacher in a
sheltered little school only about 1 kilometer away from our future
apartment, which we weren‘t even able to visit before the last
Friday before starting school.
In
the meantime, we needed new quarters. The beautiful campsite on the
Mrežnica river,
where we had camped for 10 days, was not exactly the cheapest and, in
addition, a cold-wet
weather front was moving in.
We had been sent out with generous
gifts by church,
friends and family in addition to the
refund of
our New Zealand plane tickets and a payout for Luna's leftover
vacation days that we had received.
But we did not yet know how high rent and utilities
would be here, what the transport of our furniture would cost and how
exactly God would continue to provide for us. Therefore we were very
grateful to be able to stay with the couple, where the house church
always met on Saturdays. They welcomed us warmly,
but at first it was not clear how it would work with their two dogs
that had been rescued from the animal
shelter, whom
they had not had for a long time and who out
of fear persistently barked at every
stranger in sight.
When Bruno and Tanja were at work in the morning, we hurried past
their separate area at their staircase
with the children on
our arms. Over time, they got used to us a little. :-)
The Lord took care
of the transport of our furniture by freeing up two brothers from the
house church (Kristijan and Juraj) to drive with me to Germany for
three days: one day each for driving one way and one day for clearing
out the attic room we had rented in our old house and stacking
everything into the rental Iveco van, in which everything, including
the bikes, fitted even better than I had dared to hope. We even
enjoyed some nice fellowship with helpers, friends and Luna‘s
mother in Doberlug-Kirchhain and my sisters and Kristijan's brother
in Hartenstein and on October 1st, 2020 we arrived at our new
apartment in the "New Center" of Karlovac at around 6pm (it
once was „new“ back in the 1980s^^). Thanks to the combined
strength of our new family, we managed to carry everything up the
stairs to the 4th floor within two and a half hours!
All of this already
bore God's caring handwriting! Encouraged and full of gratitude, we
furnished the apartment, got used to everyday school life, and looked
for ways with which we could serve the Lord here and build his
kingdom.
At this point began
a learning process that was difficult for me personally, through
which the Lord tested and strengthened our absolute trust in his
goodness and guidance. Although we had the chance to take on a Bible
teaching here and there in the church, grow in the healing and
deliverance ministry, start praying for the people of this city and
for Harry to regularly evangelize and pray for people on the streets
together with Kristijan and Juraj, this was not the kind of quick
breakthrough and discipleship movement that we had prayed for.
My focus was
entirely on "Kingdom work," so I didn't look for a job.
Realistically, my Croatian then was not nearly sufficient to
communicate with people in the market place anyway. In 1 Corinthians
9:14 it says that "those who preach the gospel should live of
the gospel". Only slowly I realized that, at least at this time,
God had not planned such extensive service for me that one could
speak of a full or even halftime job of „preaching the gospel“.
All followers of Jesus take part in the service of intercession,
spreading the good news wherever they can and many also take on
teaching assignments in the church, all of which is in addition to
their professional and family life. I also knew that, despite his
very extensive discipleship work, Paul took care of himself and even
his companions in many places (cf. Acts 20:34). The basic principle
is that we should work something in order to be able to give
something (Ephesians 4: 8), because "giving is more blessed than
receiving" (Acts 20:35). But it was only much later that I was
able to recognize what the Lord then gave me in the summer of 2021 as
a promise from Psalm 128:2: “For you shall eat the fruit of the
labor of your hands, you will be happy and blessed and it will be
well with you.” At the same time, Luna and I agree that this time
without work and regular income was planned for us by our Father.
After all, I kept telling the Lord that I would do any job He gave me
without getting an answer to the prayer. We now don't want to miss
this experience for any income in the world! In other words, it could
have been easier, but the way it went, it was best for us - and by
God's grace we hope that our story enourages you as well to always
trust God!
In my diary on
October 18, I noted that we still had 1200 € in our German bank
account, which at a rate of 1:7.5 equals 8000 kuna. Today we know
that this lasts us a month and a bit, including paying all the bills.
After Junia's birthday in November, our reserves got thinner and
thinner. Luna had been thinking for a while to look for a job and so
she sent off some applications for home office jobs at the end of the
month. On November 24th our funds were nearly used up. One day, the
Lord moved my heart to give a well-known beggar, whom I had
befriended a little, the 4 kuna he asked me for. On the same day we
unexpectedly received a € 400 Corona crisis child bonus from
Germany in our German account! This was the first test for us of
whether we would continue with the principle of trusting in God's
help and adressing our needs to Him alone and already He proved His
goodness and faithfulness to us before it was really urgent.
After
Luna’s birthday, I got the impression that I should fast 7-10 days
“for a breakthrough”
in our ministry.
In reality,
this fast was to be a breakthrough for me personally,
adressing my impatience with God's schedule, as well as with myself
and my closest loved ones. When I broke the fast December 17th, we
had about 20 € left. We hadn't written or packed any Christmas mail
or packages, had bought no Christmas dinner and just a few small
gifts. I had tied an Advent wreath with spruce branches from the
forest and the apartment was beautifully decorated as usual,
including the display of our self-build Christmas crib. The children
were looking forward to the holidays and, if I remember correctly,
one or two of the big parcels from Germany, which we would receive,
had already arrived. But Luna and I had to wait and see how we would
celebrate this Christmas. This helped us to rethink whether and how
we as a family really want to celebrate Christmas far away from
centuries-long, or recent capitalist, traditions and what is really
important. For example, we replaced the tree with the crib three
years ago. This year we moved away from Christmas traditions even
more, but that‘s another story.
Besides our empty
pockets we were also burdened by the outstanding bills for November:
electricity, internet, heating, other ancillary costs and the rent
that was due again. Every day we threw our worries on the Lord and
praised Him beforehand for His provision - whether we felt like it or
not. My diary that day reads: “I'm excited to see what God is
doing. He has already answered our prayer. Thank you, Lord, for your
supply! I know that it has already been given and that it will arrive
at the right time. "
On the fourth Advent, December 20th we decided to go to Zagreb for an
early family Christmas dinner. The journey with the car costs around
140kn (almost 20 €), and God took care of that, because Luna had
taken her first watercolor Bible verse canvases to the house church
the evening before and sold them all for a total of 120kn. The visit
was particularly meaningful because from December 21st on lock-down
was announced again in Croatia and a visit to Zagreb without a
special permit would have been forbidden. In addition, Luna's grandma
had had a stroke 6 days earlier. Before that, Luna had felt the
strong urge to pray for her grandmother and we believe that this is
why the consquences of the attack were very mild, actually a miracle
in itself! Despite 90% clogging of the arteries on the left and 70%
on the right, she came home three days later - and the next day she
took off the curtains to wash and then hung them up again. She had a
few minor problems with her right hand, but she did not lose any
motor or cognitive skills. A victory in prayer in the Lord,
Hallelujah! Thus, the time together with her and the rest of the
family was very special. As a result, we have grown much closer
together.
That morning Luna
had told me that she had heard the number 5000 from God twice. That
was a great encouragement to us and a sign that his supply would soon
break through to us. And really! On December 21st we received € 400
from friends and family, as well as another € 200 child bonus in
our account! We danced and praised the Lord for his mercy and
loyalty! He is never late and he keeps his promises: These 600 €
together with 500 kuna from gift cards for Luna's birthday and for
Christmas resulted in a total of 5000 kuna. Praise the Lord for his
faithfulness!
But how exactly
should we put God's blessings to use? We took a large part to pay
outstanding bills, but it wasn't enough for the rent. We gave another
part away, which we usually do and that way experience how God likes
to pour out even more blessings when we wholeheartily give from what
he gives us. (In Proverbs 3: 9-10, for example, it says: "Honor
the LORD with your possessions and with the first fruits of all your
income, and your barns will fill up with plenty and your wine presses
overflow with must."). With the rest we bought what we needed
for the holidays and hastily sent a few Christmas letters to Germany
(which is another tradition, that we now decided we will not be
enslaved by any longer).
I have to say that
personally after the pressures of this difficult time, I have not
been able to really „enjoy Christmas“. On the one hand, I was
exhausted because on December 22nd and 23rd I quickly wanted to
finish our digital Christmas letter while Luna was painting more
Bible verse canvases. On the other hand, on December 25th we had a
rather sobering experience at a Christmas dinner with friends of our
house community. Then I reacted and to my exhaustion by trying to
enjoy the many sweets from the Christmas packages and playing and
relaxing with the family in a mental way. But I couldn't see that at
the time. Today I would know better (at least I hope) that I can live
in spiritual authority and joy, no matter what I have or not have, or
what happens around me, and then bodily or soulish joys are not made
to fulfill me.
In any case, on
December 29th we had only 15 kuna in the wallet. We had enough food
at home for now and had only just seen God's provision so that we
were sure he would send more in time. In the meantime, Luna got sick
with Corona and was very weak for 3 days. After that, both she and I
lacked our senses of taste and/or smell. In addition, on December
28th and 29th, only 1 hour away, the two earthquakes of 5.2 and 6.3
shook us as well as half of Croatia, which brought the Corona
lock-down to an end, but created a mood of fear and uncertainty that
we had to fight spiritually.
In the first days of
January I thought I heard that God would fulfill our needs on Monday,
4.1.. Instead, on that day, our German account had dropped to €
-190 because the car insurance had been withdrawn. "Thank you
Lord for this test of faith.", I wrote in my journal. As a sign
of God‘s goodness we were given a large 400g Milka bar out of
nowhere while on a walk with the children and yet another Christmas
parcel also arrived. On Wednesday, the insurance amount was credited
back to our account, because some time ago we had cancelled the
possibility to overdraw our bank accounts and cards in order, as far
as it was up to us, not to get into debt. The way it worked out that
time, it gave us another € 30 available to buy groceries. But the
December bills would soon be in the mailbox, the rent was now due for
two months and of course we still owed the insurance company their
premium. Our faith was further tested and our mood was gloomy at
times.
At all this time,
nobody around us knew anything about our needs. I am sure that our
house church as well as our family in Croatia and family and friends
in Germany would have helped out immediately, if we had even hinted
at something. But we knew that it was time to hold out, trust the
Lord and not say anything - neither about how He had provided for us
up to now, nor about how we were currently doing financially. After
all, we were and are convinced that He is alive and knows what we
need even before we ask Him (Matthew 6: 8). If He wants to give us
something through others, He can put it on their hearts. Why should
we allow ourselves to be tempted and take care of ourselves by our
own strength, while confessing that He is our good Shepherd and we
lack nothing?
Diary entry on
Sunday January 10th: “Intensive prayer this morning with Luna.
Shall we look for work? The only clear answer: Immerse yourself in
prayer!” On the same day we received a request from a friend to
visit him and a young family with whom he was staying approx. 1 hour
drive away, on Friday, January 15th. We laid it before the Lord, the
doors opened for a visit, but we had hardly any petrol left in the
tank.
January 11th:
“Great, strong prayer time with Luna; we took communion together.
Then she received a phone call: tomorrow Luna will have a job
interview." The call was a reply to one of the applications Luna
had sent off at the end of November, in this case to the Croatian
company Qexperience, which handles customer care services for Western
European companies, e.g. in German, English and other languages. Even
when writing the application, Luna had a good feeling and now we both
felt God's peace in the matter. The interview went very well and on
Friday Luna received the final confirmation: From January 20th. she
would work from home Monday to Friday for 8 hours with alternating
early and late shifts on behalf of a German financial services
provider, together with half a dozen Croatians who all speak German
perfectly, plus a German lady who had moved here. Praise the Lord who
always opens the doors for us at the right time and guides us in his
ways!
But we didn't know
exactly when Luna would get her wages, nor how we should cover all
expenses with just one Croatian salary, even though Luna's income
right from the start was a bit above the Croatian average. The wage
level here is soberingly low and many employers are heavily exploited.
On January 12th, our landlady asked about the 2-3 months' rent, which
were due. God gave us favor with her and she gave us extra time to
pay. In the diary I noted that we had only € 8 left, and many
unpaid bills besides that. "Thank you that we have enough to eat
today and tomorrow." I began to fill out the German tax return
forms for 2020. Since we had only had half a year of income, I
counted on the reimbursement of the entire income tax we had paid,
which I thought would amount to around € 1,300.
On January 13th, in
prayer, I got a vision of a water dam and a huge lake, so big that
you couldn't see the banks to the left and right and on the horizon.
A small river gushed steadily from below the dam. I asked the Lord
for the interpretation and He showed me that the lake is an image of
His abundance, which flows towards us. We don't need to build
reservoirs out of mud and stones in our little river, but need to let
flow what He gives us.
I have to explain
that we had received money for the children again and again since the
summer before. We had bought some things for them with one part, but
they kept most of it in a small money box. Until now we hadn't
allowed ourselves to think that we should take any of this for our
daily needs; after all it had been given to us for the children
(although we were of course constantly spending money on the needs of
the children out of our regular budget). During this week the Lord
slowly showed me that this money box, which had also become
especially important to Junia (because she wanted to save for a
pony), had become a small dam made of mud, which did not correspond
to faith in God. We ourselves lived from day to day, trusting our
good Father. Why did I want to teach my children something else?
(That is not to say that saving money is wrong, of course not, it is
often necessary and wise. However, in this situation the Lord showed
us that it was disbelief to hold on to it.)
I started talking to
Junia about these savings and explaining to her that we wanted to
rely on the Lord for all of our needs and desires. On Friday she was
ready to let go of part of it and with that we fueled the car,
visited this one family (see above) and witnessed to them about
Jesus. The following Monday, Junia gave all her savings into God's
hands (so did Amos) and we decided to go grocery shopping and
replenish supplies. On the same day God sent us € 80 through a
Croatian friend and another € 300 came from Germany in the next few
days. Most Croatian bills still remained open, but we had enough to
eat and our apartment was warm. Again, our Father had given us what
we need in his good time. Praise the Lord, for He is good and His
grace endures forever!
On Sunday, February
7th, there were only 100 kuna left and our car was thirsty again.
(Most of the time we didn't have to drive much, only Saturday to
church in the village and otherwise Junia to school in the morning.
When the weather was nice, Amos and I picked her up on foot.)
Moreover, the bills and rent payments were burdening us. On Wednesday
I took Junia to play with friends and tn spend a few hours walking in
the woods by myself. I wrestled with the Lord and the retreated to
gratitude. I loudly praised him for his kindness and faithful care.
That very afternoon we received Luna's salary for the first 10 days
in January, almost 2200 kuna, with which we were able to settle 2
bills and buy what else we needed.
However, the later
part of my walk in the forest was even more significant to me. It had
rained a lot and the forest was wet. At one place I sank into mud
with my hiking boots up to my ankles. I had chosen a somewhat longer
route, which was as of yet unknown to me. The last stretch, which was
supposed to lead back to the road, was no longer there, because the
forest there had been cleared and there were trees laying on the
ground all over the place. It was getting dark and started to rain.
Whether I wanted to or not, I had to go back and take an even longer
detour along unknown streets. According to my estimation, I would not
be able to pick up Junia until half to one hour later than agreed;
lacking cash, I had not topped up my cell phone credit so that I
could not even call anyone. The rain picked up again. I was hoping to
hitchhike to get to my car more quickly, but no one stopped.
Inwardly, I somehow knew that my Father was causing all the cars to
pass me. I asked him why and heard him answer (inwardly): "Go in
this strength of yours." (Judges 6:14)
Actually, I knew
straight away that the word referred to our finances, but I couldn't
believe it at the time. How should we settle the outstanding bills
with our small income and still have enough to live on, without God
sending us money from somewhere else? But the voice had been very
clear; I hadn't imagined that. I started to alternately jog and walk
down the street and in fact I was moving forward quickly and was just
10 minutes late when I picked up Junia! This experience for me
encompasses the entire period of the faith tests and serves as
confirmation not to look to human help (hitchhikers), but only to the
Lord.
It was now
mid-February and we had no income to expect before Luna's first full
salary on March 10th. Luna got the impulse to fast for a week and on
February 24th she had the impression we should ask the tax office in
Germany whether our tax return, which I had sent in January, had
arrived. This impression came from the Lord, because when I called
they had received nothing (which they had only been able to say with
certainty since February 17th). So we put all the papers together for
a second time and this time sent it off by registered mail.
Meanwhile, there
came € 200 from Germany, which we gratefully accepted and divided
between car insurance, donations and food.
During this time
after her fast, Luna had an experience in which she was confronted in
a vision with a demon of poverty and lack. He met her in our kitchen
and looked as ghastly as Golom from "Lord of the Rings",
thin as money and with huge beggar eyes full of self-pity. She drove
out this demon and then also any bad handling of money, which she
repented for. Sometimes it takes dry periods and crises before we can
admit to ourselves the bad habits and even unclean spirits from which
the Lord wants to free us!
On February 28,
through the impulse of some sermons, I decided to proclaim an
faith-encouraging Bible verse at every meal (if you are interested in
this exercise, I chose: Ps 103: 1-5; Ps 107: 20; Isa 40:31; Isa
43,1-3; Isa 53,4-5; Isa 60,22; Mk 9,23; Mk 11,22-24; Joh 14,12-14;
Joh 15,4-5; Joh 19.30; Rom 8,31-32; 2 Cor 1,20; Eph 1,3; Epf 3,20-21;
Heb 11,1; 2 Pet 1,3; 1 John 5,14-15). This greatly helped me to stay
focussed on the Lord and His goodness and expect all things from Him.
Shortly before
Luna's first full salary we as a house church wanted to go to Zagreb
to celebrate the completion of a 6 month long Bible school in which
two of our sisters had participated. We wanted to come too, but had
hardly any gasoline or money left. But the evening before, Luna got
100 kuna for two of her pictures! In Zagreb we also visited Luna's
family, who gave us another 100 kuna to “buy ice cream”. In fact,
the following week, in the middle of winter, I and the kids went and
bought ice cream. It is really true that we have never lacked
anything - the Lord is a faithful shepherd!
But in addition to
the financial difficulties, I was also repeatedly dissatisfied with
our „vocational“ situation. I had already accepted that I should
now mainly take care of the children and the daily chores at home,
but I also wanted to make disciples and see how a discipleship
movement emerges! In December God spoke to me about patience, and I
had to keep practicing that lesson. At the same time, in His grace,
He regularly encouraged me through Bible verses that I realized were
meant directly for me and through impressions and prophetic images,
sometimes directly to me, sometimes also through my wife or a sister
in the church.
These were always
encouragements to trust, for example: “I am preparing your way; go
this way! Do not look for any shortcuts, they are just exhausting
dead ends! Remain in me and in my rest and let the fruit be my
concern!" Luna once had this word for me: "You are the
backbone of the family. What you are giving the children and Luna
right now in time and attention will bring much fruit in the kingdom.
It is precious and priceless."
As a congregation,
we had decided to visit some poor families around Easter and bring
some gifts. We had gotten the contacts through the social welfare
office. So on March 18th and 24th, together with another brother, we
went to visit two poor families who live off the very skimmy
Croatian welfare program out in the countryside. We brought them
large bags with groceries that were paid for out of our church purse,
shared the gospel with them, sang a few songs, and prayed for them.
It was a strange feeling to have little food at home, but to be
considered "rich" by these people. But in fact it is like
that: Our father is the richest person in the world! But it is also
sobering in retrospect to see how the daily concern for survival
keeps these families from caring for eternity and seaking from God
the eternal life he freely offers, as it became clear during further
visits that these poor people were really only ready to receive our
worldly goods. They did not (yet) want to humble themselves before
God and seek his grace. Since, as a church family, we had determined
that our task is not to provide for all the poor we encounter, but
above all to spread the gospel and to stay with those who would like
to follow Jesus, we have stopped these visits for the time being
until the Lord will guide us there again.
On the night of
March 21st Luna had a dream in which she heard: "All our bills
have been paid!" I noted: "I am expecting supplies in the
next few days in faith and that we can visit Luna's family in Zagreb
at Easter in a week." Luna then accepted her grandmother‘s
invitation in faith, without knowing whether we would even have the
gas money. On Tuesday, March 30th, I used our last Skype credit to
ask the tax office whether our tax return papers had arrived this
time. Yes, they were there and due to be processed around the end of
April. End of April! Could our bills and rent payments remain unpaid
for that long?! I noted: “God wants to glorify himself differently!
We give thanks and praise you for it, Jesus! Thank you for doing the
impossible and working on us as you please!” I resolved to fast
again until His supply broke through, although I had had increased
problems with muscle cramps in my legs the last several months.
“Immediately after the decision to fast, I feel inner calm and
focus on HIM, no matter what is happening around me. Before that, my
focus was heavily on the expected supply. "
Diary entry on
Wednesday, March 31st: “!!! RELIEF !!! The tax office transferred
over € 1600 today, even though they said on the phone yesterday
that it would be the end of April! They paid back more income tax
than I even knew we had been deducted! Thank you, Lord, for this
great grace; thank you for first giving us faith and then giving us
according to this faith! Thank you for your grace!"
That was a real
breakthrough! After four months we were again able to settle all our
bills and outstanding rent payments and still had enough to live on.
We felt as light as cotton wool - our father had demonstrated his
loyalty to us in a wonderful way. Over and over again during this
time he had encouraged us through Bible verses, personal words,
testimonies and songs. THAT is JEHOVAH JIREH - the God who
provides!!! This name of God appears in Genesis 22 - when God told
Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac, but then provided a ram as
sacrifice instead of the boy. We often want to take shortcuts that
will make our way easier, but at the same time still want to be
heroes and strong in faith. That doesn't work; faith doesn‘t come
without sacrifice. You cannot reach the mountain top without having
first climbed a strenuous, steep hiking trail. Well, you can: with a
helicopter. But it is precisely such abbreviations that then lengthen
our actual growth process (You don‘t grow muscles sitting in a
helicopter). Just as muscles are trained, we must face challenges
that will train our faith and trust in God!
The following song
strongly touched me (Luna) shortly before the breakthrough,
encouraged me and I started singing it as a proclamation. That was my
personal breakthrough with God, because from then on I was full of
joy and trust because I now really BELIEVED that God is actually a
loving and caring – I no longer just believed that I believed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yjey4J2b5Rs
We still had to be
very frugal, although we repeatedly experienced that God provides for
everything and that we do not have to desperately hold on to what he
entrusts to us. Once, in April, we went to one of the poor families
in the village again and brought them some groceries, because they
said on the phone that they had nothing left in the house. At the
same time we had just under 300 kuna for ourselves, which needed to
last us another 3 weeks. But then the Lord again sent us € 100 from
Germany!
In late spring we
experienced provision during a very special time. Two dear friends
from Germany came for a visit from the end of May to the beginning of
June. One of them stayed with us together with her children; the
other stayed with friends in a small separate apartment nearby. We
had very much looked forward to this time in advance, because we knew
God wanted to do something special for them and us.
When they arrived we
had bought a lot of groceries, but only 60 kuna left in our pockets!
In accordance with our principle, we gave no indication of our
circumstances. But how do you accommodate guests for 2-3 weeks with
less than 10 €? - Nothing is impossible with God!
In fact, our dear
guests went shopping for all of us the whole time and had even
brought some food with them. We baked plenty of bread from the large
delivery of flour that we had ordered a while ago and cooked beans,
pasta, potatoes and so on. Nobody had to go hungry - on the contrary
- and towards the end we even celebrated Amos' birthday together
before they left. It was a wonderful, unforgettable, blessed time of
fellowship!
On the last day of
their visit I noticed that we still had a € 20 bill in our second
wallet, and the same day we had received another € 20 from Germany!
God's provision had been there all along while he was continued to
train us to daily put our trust in Him.
On Saturday, July
4th, after our church meeting, I wrote in my diary: “When we sang
the song 'Dubine' (Oceans) I had to cry and resisted the thought of
“yet more“ walking over the deep waters, especially when I
started thinking about our finances and the auto insurance (the 3rd
quarter payment not yet been paid) ... I wrestled with Him, but then
allowed the Lord to lead us through further and deeper faith tests.
As long as you hold our hand and help us stay on the water! What a
privilege and undeserved dignity to be able to walk supernaturally on
water. That wouldn't be possible if we immediately got everything we
ask for. "
From the end of July
on Luna had two weeks vacation and so we drove for a week to the
Croatian house of prayer in Slavonski Brod for personal spiritual
renewal. The next week we spent with Luna's grandma and mom at her
family cabin vineyard in Zagorje in the countryside. Again, from a
human point of view, we didn‘t have enough money available for this
time. We carefully put aside what was needed for gasoline and highway
toll and divided up the rest as best we could. Later I noticed that I
had miscalculated and that we had even less available than we
thought. But on the last day at the house of prayer we unexpectedly
received a 600kn present. Hence we had enough money even to buy rye
flour for the next few months of bread baking (the mill was on the
way) and to send the children with grandma to the local pool as we
spend a day by ourselves on the Slijeme mountain between Zagreb and
Zagorje. When Luna's salary was paid on August 10, we were back in
Karlovac.
The following week
we spent with Luna's dad in his little house near Rijeka, only 15
minutes away from the Adriatic Sea. Luna took her laptop with her and
simply worked from there. Of course we went swimming every day; in
temperatures between 33 and 40 °C you could hardly do anything else.
After we had already collected several kilo of wild blackberries the
week before and turned them into jam, we were now able to pick 1-2kg
of ripe figs every day from Grandpa Igor's old fig tree and produce
many jars of fig-chocolate-chili jam. The Lord had given us three
weeks of wonderful vacation - We really didn't lack anything!
I had already
started writing job applications before the vacation. Inwardly, I
knew that it was time for me to start working at least part-time. The
children had gotten used to our new home and everyday school life,
they had learned to play very well with each other and also to spend
hours „alone“ at home with Luna, while she is working. In
addition, my Croatian skills had increased far enough so that I was
able to communicate almost completely without needing translation.
But what jobs were there for me as a nature guide, adventure educator
and former school chaplain in Croatia? The state schools were out of
the question - both because of my education and because of my
inadequate Croatian vocabulary.
And so began a long
job search with an unforeseeable outcome. First, I applied to the
four local language schools and a private adult education center as a
German and English teacher. I was invited to two interviews and it
became clear to me that with an hourly wage of 50kn at one, two or
maybe three courses per week, I couldn't increase our earnings in any
meaningful way. So I looked into self-employment in Croatia and the
possibility of offering language lessons and tutoring for Germans via
the Internet. But my efforts in these directions found little
resonance. Next, I expanded my "offer" to include cleaning
and maintenance work in house and garden (locally, in Karlovac, of
course) and was in the process of registering a company and preparing
advertising material, when God closed this door for me.
Two more doors
opened instead: On the one hand, I heard from friends about a lady
who was about to open a forest kindergarten in Karlovac, a concept
otherwise completely unknown to Croats. I got in touch with her and
found out that we had similar opinions and ideas about childcare and
child development. Of course, I share her love for the forest and
bring along some skills and knowledge that can be useful for her
small enterprise, even if I have no professional educational
experience with small children, except with my own children. One
saturday, this woman and two friends came to our house church once
and thus showed herself to be open spiritually. She actually ended up
renting a house on the edge of the forest for the kindergarten in
which our house church had already twice held weekend seminars. All
of this felt like God's guidance, which He usually confirms multiple
times. However, at the moment it was not yet clear when enough
children would be registered so that she would be able to hire me. A
couple of months later, we talked again and found out that she was
looking for a full time worker with qualifications after all, and
neither did I want to go for further schooling at the moment, nor do
Luna and I both want to work full time.
The same day I
talked with the forest lady, I also called a company in Zagreb that
hires and equips delieverymen for the food delivery service "Glovo",
similar to Doordash in the US and Canada. At the end of the same
week, on October 1st, I started working a few hours a day, delivering
for Glovo.
I am paid per order
and per kilometer driven. Sometimes there is more and sometimes less
to do, but overall speaking the earnings aren‘t bad and God has
blessed us very much through this job during the last 4 months. The
biggest advantage for us is that I freely choose which hours I want
to work, so that I can still bring Junia to school, pick her up, be
at our community meetings or other opportunities to serve and that
still we don‘t need outside child care, but can give our children
the attention and time that is good for them, and for us.
Then I went through
another experience relating to work. In the first week of November I
called an “OPG” (family farm business) that ran three fruit and
vegetable stalls in Karlovac. I had seen their poster saying: “Driver
wanted”. The same day in the evening I met the boss and we agreed
that I should drive mandarin boxes and other goods to the stands
early in the morning and collect them again in the evening. In
addition, sometimes I would be needed during the day. The initially
agreed daily wage of 150kn seemed fair to me for three hours work,
according to Croatian conditions and so I wanted give it try,
especially since I couldn't drive for Glovo in the morning and there
had no guranteed deliveries.
However, within a
few days it turned out that the company was quite a mess and my
supervisor expected me to be available almost all the time. Three
hours really meant four hours of strenuous work, if everything went
smooth, and in addition I was on duty for 2-3 hours every day that
week. There was also the stress of a chaotic job in a negative
atmosphere without appreciation. At home I wasn't of much use and the
children missed me. That Thursday at lunchtime I was very exhausted
and angry that I carelessly cut bread and cut off a piece of my left
index finger. It was a very exhausting and unpleasant week! (Yet God
gave me the grace to care for the wound well and within as little as
3 weeks I was able to play the ukulele again!)
How could this
happen? Of course, I had prayed before calling the boss and also
before we decided for the job, and I had not heard any warning from
the Spirit. I believe that, on the one hand, I was too quickly
willing to do more work, at the expense of my health, our family, and
my capacity for other Kingdom work. I liked working in a local OPG
better than carrying a bag of fast food from McDonalds 200 meters
further to a sleepy young man, which I often do at Glovo. In
addition, our car had just broken done, needed to be repaired and I
assumed too quickly that the Lord would provide us with additional
money through this work. In fact, I didn't earn anything this week
that I wouldn‘t have earned already driving delieveries. On the
other hand, God allowed me to take the job because He wanted me to
experience first hand what the working conditions are like for many
people here, and because He continues to cleanse me from fleshly
worry, hurry and strive.
Once again, together
with the challenge, God prepared a way out. On Friday I called the
boss and told him he'd better look for another driver. I gave him my
reasons, also said that I would like to have an hourly wage from now
on for additional work and assured him that I would continue to drive
for a few more weeks until he had found someone else. A little later
I got into a fight of words with my supervisor, in which I frankly
told her that I wasn't available for her all day and wasn‘t
dependent on this job either. Half an hour later the boss called me
and told me in a friendly manner that I would no longer work for him.
Even the truck delivery, which I was supposed to receive late that
night, was handled by someone else. Wonderful, I thought to myself,
praise the Lord, he has set me free! I came home that evening shaken
and disillusioned, but above all grateful. "Cast all your
anxiety on him because he cares for you!" (1 Peter 5: 7)
The car - I still
owe you this story. After four weeks of Glovo deliveries, I stopped
dead in the parking lot in front of McDonalds one Saturday afternoon.
Something with the cluch wasn‘t working. I was able to shift into
gears, but not to let the clutch come off. Since it was Saturday, I
rolled it back into the parking space and headed home. Monday was a
public holiday, so the tow truck was not ordered until Tuesday (which
was covered by our car insurance). The same day the garage called
with estimated repair costs of around € 450, plus the same amount
to do the necessary routine work at the same time. After all, our
faithful Renault hadn't been in for service for a year and a half.
In this I
immediately saw the hand of God! All the while, when we hardly have a
kuna left, the car drove and drove without any problem. I believe God
sent his angels to hold it together until I could start earning some
extra money and we could pay for the repair. I wasn't really
surprised when the car stopped working, but immediately had peace. -
Thank God, because the worst part of a problem is not the difficulty
itself, but the uncertainty, fear and temptation that they cause in
us. We will always have problems, in different ways, but that doesn‘t
need to bother us much, since each problem is an
opportunity for God to glorify himself!
And how well God
glorifies himself! On the same day I discovered on our German bank
account that friends had transferred to us € 377! Already at the
beginning of September we were given € 500, just in time to pay our
car insurance premiums from the third quarter before we had to bear
the consequences of the late payment. Well, at the beginning of
November, the Lord kindly provided us with enough money to have the
car repaired and completely servised. On Thursday, after bandaging my
cut and bleeding finger, I was able to pick up the car. It was not
the clutch, as feared, but the semi-axis that was defective, so that
the repair turned out to be significantly cheaper than expected!
"Your Heavenly Father knows what you need even before you ask
him." (Matthew 6: 8)
Another positive
effect of the car repair was that I started to ride my bike when
delivering for Glovo. I wanted to try that out anyway, but had
expected that I would not manage the same number of deliveries and
also get less payment per delivery. But that was not the case and
often I can even get to the customer and back faster by bike than by
car, so that now I nearly always ride my bike, except when the
children want to go with me or when I have to go up a steep mountain
but are able to switch to the car before. So, I guess you could say
now that I'm getting paid to work out.
Consequently, our
everyday life is now such that Luna works from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.,
Junia is at school either in the morning from 8 a.m. or in the
afternoon from 2 p.m., and that I work for about 4 hours somewhere
between 10 a.m. and usually no later than 4 p.m. or 7 p.m.. Wednesday
evening from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. we meet for fellowship, Bible study and
prayer; Saturday evening from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. or longer for
fellowship, word, prayer, as well as praise and worship, which is
really the highlight of our week. On Thursdays, Harry used to go to
evangelize and pray for people in the city with two brothers, but
since another one of these now works a strenous job, they have
stopped that minstry for now. Thursday evenings we meet a dear sister
via video call for discipleship training. On Sundays we usually spend
time together as a family. Every now and then Luna and I bring the
children to friends for a few hours so we can spend some time
together. When we think about where God has put us here and how He
has already changed and used us during this time, we can only
gratefully marvel at his grace and wisdom.
Perhaps while
reading this, one may think that we are poorly off. Oh no, we are not
and never have been, neither we adults nor our children. The little
ones have developed wonderfully through God's grace over the past
year and are a great joy to us (most of the time^^). How often have
they been delighted about a small piece of candy for dessert when
there was nothing else sweet in the house – while most of the time
there was a piece of chocolate, cake or the like to snack on. Even
better: How often have they thoroughly enjoyed a delicious apple or
mandarine as a snack! One of them also rejoices about spinach and
coleslaw, the other at least about paprika, cucumber and tomato, just
to give some examples. They have always had more than enough things
to wear and shoes or sandals on their feet – and didn‘t care much
whether they were new or used. They understand that you can make a
lot of things yourself - whether it's bread, jam, cookies, popcorn,
or handicrafts and gifts. They look forward to events like a bike
trip to the playground and are constantly thinking of new things to
play, dress up or build. They accept it when we say ‚no‘. Of
course, they also quarrel, they are sometimes bored or disobedient,
but that is not the norm. We are grateful that in this upside-down
and twisted world in which we live, they have already started to
receive and live out some of God's principles and, above all, God's
love!
Our gracious and
rich Father fully provides us with more than the material blessings
we need. But what is even more important is that He educates us and
strengthens our faith in Him. “Do not worry about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will take care of its own.” (Matthew 6:34) We all know
this verse, but how can we know, in a situation of scarcity, whether
God will really give us what we are going to need tomorrow, if we
have not already experienced it? We were also able to learn how
unimportant it actually is what and how much you have to eat, because
you can turn the simplest things into a delicious, healthy and
filling meal. It is also not important whether you can buy new things
or not, and whether you can go to the cinema or anywhere else (which
given the ongoing Corona measures is a limited affair anyway).
There were times in
my life when I couldn't sing along when I heard songs with lines like
“All I need is just you!”, because I wasn't sure that I really
meant them. Yet Psalm 27:4 says:
"One thing I
ask from the Lord,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in
the house of the Lord
all the days of my
life,
to gaze on the
beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in
his temple."
Today I know that I
really only need one thing: The presence of my Beloved Lord and
Savior in my life and in that of my family. Even if this belief of
mine should be tested again tomorrow, today I‘m sure of it! There
are many beautiful and goods blessings for soul and body, but they
can never fulfill me. Yet HE fulfills my spirit, as well as soulish
and physical needs, better than I can ask or understand, if only I
seek Him with all my heart!
Dear friend, who has
managed to read so far, do you know this Lord? Have you turned around
from your own path, leading you far away from your Creator? Has the
Father forgiven you for your sins yet? Has the ‚old you‘ already
died with Jesus and was a new person raised with Him? Have you
already been filled with God's good Spirit? And when you have
experienced all of this, have you then convinced yourself that your
Father is nothing but good, that you are His treasured possession and
that He perfectly cares for you, no matter how big the problems you
face? Do you first of all seek Him and His glory or your own
"kingdom", life, family, career, in short, are your own
plans more important? Are you ready to let go of everything and trust
Him completely, every day anew? Are you an active follower of Jesus?
From our experience
I can only encourage you to throw everything onto him and to follow
him, especially in the strange times in which we live. Jesus doesn‘t
exist somewhere out there in the universe, rather He has been given
all power in heaven and on our earth, which includes over your
country and your city (or village). He is bigger than Corona, than
the measures, as pressure at work or in the family. He understands
your deepest fears, injuries, illnesses, pains, addictions and your
deep restlessness - He conquered them all when He died for you on the
cross and said: "It is finished!"
“What, then, shall
we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who
can be against us?
He who did not spare
his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along
with him, graciously give us all things?"(Romans 8: 31-32)
If you live by faith
in Jesus and are filled with his Spirit, then you not only have the
certainty that after this life you will be resurrected and reign with
Him in glory, but already in this time He can and wants to work
miracles through you; He wants to transform you and then others
through you forever. You don't have to have especially strong faith,
attend a Bible school or live a perfect life. His righteousness is
your protection and your faith only needs to be the size of a seed.
In fact, it is our weakness that drives us to Him and makes us grow
spiritually. We testify to you that we experienced and continue to
experience many moments of weakness, and we have learned to proclaim
with Paul (whether we feel like it or not):
“The Lord says: 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is
made perfect in weakness.‘ Therefore I will boast all the more
gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in
insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I
am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)
In the name of Jesus
we bless you with the peace of God, we hug you and look forward to
seeing you again if and when our loving Father wants!
Lots of love,
from Harry, Luna,
Junia and Amos
--
Lyrics of "Jehovah
Jireh“ by Jekalyn Carr:
God, I feel You now
preparing me for my next move
My faith is being tested but I
know You will, You will come through
Just like You did for
Abraham
God I need You to show me a sign
So today I
challenge heaven 'cause I feel in the spirit it's manifestation
time
So here I am Jesus
All I have is your word show
yourself to be God
I know You won't let me down
I won't stop believing
Jehovah
Jireh
I promise I won't, I won't stop believing
I've got to release it for somebody
else
God I feel you now preparing me for my next move
My
faith is being tested, oh Lord, but I know You will
You shall,
You, You've got to come through
Just like You did for
Abraham
Lord I need You to show me a sign
So today I
challenge heaven 'cause I feel in the spirit it's manifestation
time
So here I am Jesus
All I have is Your word
Show Yourself to be
God
I know You won't let me down, yeah
Somebody wave your hand and say I won't stop
You ought to lift your voice and shout
I promise I won't, I won't stop believing
'Cause I've seen You do it over and over again
Oh yeah, Oh Lord, I won't stop believing
You can not fail me Jehovah Jireh
I won't stop believing
Yeah,
I came to tell you that this is what I believe
I believe that
the same God who raised Lazarus from the dead
That the
same God who cause Jehoshaphat and his army to triumph
I
believe (the same) that the same God who delivered the three Hebrew
boys
Is the same God who can excel me,
expand me, accelerate me
Jehovah Jireh, oh, I won't I
won't stop believing
You are the God
that can heal, that can save, that can provide
I
won't, I won't stop believing
Will
He fail me? (Never)
Will He come through for me? (Always)
How
long will He show me that He's still God? (Forever)
He watches
over His word, watches over His word to perform it
Oh yes, oh
yes, oh yes, He does
I'm reminded of Abraham
When all
he had was God's word carrying him
And even when it hurt Him the
most
He still had faith in His God to lift his voice and
declare
The Lord will provide
The Lord will provide
(I've
never seen the righteous forsaken) The Lord
(nor His seed beg for
bread He will) will provide
(You ought wave your hand and shout)
THE LORD WILL PROVIDE
.JPG)
